It’s been just over a week since my last blog post. I’ve been struggling with some stuff and kind of falling into a bit of a depressive pit.
Not at all unusual for this time of year, though the winter has been especially mild this season, so perhaps the weather of the season isn’t as responsible as I once thought it was.
There have been several absolutely gorgeous days–warm (60s Fahrenheit) and sunny. Likely owing to climate change, which is sad. Though I’m always grateful for no snow, I feel a little guilty about it.
I heard the snow was vacationing in California.
Winter has never been my friend. I used to dream about making a move to Florida. I fell so hard in love with the beaches gulf side back in the day. The political climate these days though… even if I could move at this point, I wouldn’t. It kind of spoils the entire idyllic fantasy life I’d built for myself there.
With everything going on in the world around us, it’s really hard to sit down and write anything of substance that avoids politics. I try.
The problem with trying so hard to avoid it is that it makes it feel disingenuous in a way. There is a lot of very real, very impactful, very scary stuff going on all around us. Things that I care a lot about. Things that I feel like a lot of people care about. There are so many things.
Things that will impact people’s lives forever. Heavy, heavy things.
Perhaps that, too, is contributing to the depressive pit I’m falling into. There are so many things going on that it feels impossible to even find a starting point to combat any of them.
It’s overwhelming. It’s heart breaking. I’m scared. I’m sad. I’m mad. I’m basically over here drowning in a sea of emotions.
Sure, I can turn off the news, put down the newspaper, disconnect from social media for a bit–but the stuff is going to keep on moving along and I’m frightened for the world I’d be reconnecting to later. I’m not okay with just pretending everything is fine while the world crashes and burns all around me.
I don’t know. There’s just so much blatant hate…